He found his bow vision podcast where we only talk to entrepreneurs with a bold vision of their business’s future. While listening to today’s episode, we want you to think about yourself as it relates to our guests, and their entrepreneurial journey is always something to learn. So if you’re interested in growing your business, getting a few golden nuggets, or simply learning more about entrepreneurship, this is the podcast for you. Show Notes of today’s episode will be available on bold vision podcast.com.
Brent Simpson 0:39
The track alright. Yeah. We are good to go. And we’re live. All right, everybody, you are with myself and attorney someone bankable. And we will be talking about the importance of managing your ecosystem today. And this will be for the bow vision podcast. So if you want to check out more podcasts like this, you can go to boat vision, podcast calm. And now attorney bankable is with the let me make sure I say it right, the big blue law firm. And she is the millennial business lawyer. So if I miss anything, I’m gonna say someone for the rest of this,
Salma Benkabbou 1:23
please. No, that was perfect, actually. So thank you.
Brent Simpson 1:30
All right, what is your firm focus on if somebody is watching this thinking? Okay, like what would our content offering for?
Salma Benkabbou 1:36
So we help entrepreneurs protect their creative greatness. So we help companies that are starting out. And then we also help companies that are scaling. Our client base consists of startups that are bootstrapping to, you know, I’m companies who are in seven and eight figures. So we pride ourselves on providing the same type of services to all. So that’s what we focus on.
Brent Simpson 1:58
And recently, like, we just checked out the site right before this live. And one of the things I saw is like her pop up, came up for a newsletter. And I was like, oh, pop up right there. And she said, very modestly, I would join the following you. She started to tell me a story about some information in the newsletter, and why would it be important for any business owner watching this to sign up for the newsletter? So can you give us that story again?
Salma Benkabbou 2:24
Sure. So I was saying that we give a lot of insightful articles and insightful stories. And then we also provide any kind of resources that are out there or available. For example, we provided a resource for grant for restaurant owners and two of our clients were able to sign up and they actually got approved for the grants. So it’s pretty cool.
Brent Simpson 2:45
And if you all know, like, right now, being able to get extra money is important. And you know, so many platforms are asking for your information to join a newsletters, vision included. This is one of those things where you got to figure out like, who’s producing really the best content, and makes me want to sign up so that that story is really relevant to let you know, if you’ve been like, okay, yeah, I’m gonna check out the company or the firm. And that’s it. Bigtable lawfirm.com. Correct. And the link is in the title. So for anybody who’s listening to this, just go back to bow vision, podcast, calm and pull this episode, the link is in the comments. But the link is also in the title. And today, we’re not going deep into law, because we’ll have a fun conversation. So if you’re watching this, it’s going to be a fun conversation. But also at the same time. This is that moment where, you know, you got to think what does my company need to legally what do they need to represent the firm to grow the business the right way, like anybody who doesn’t know Saumur, she was a speaker at the boat vision Summit, our first one or only one so far, because of COVID. But it was such a great experience and to see her in her element. She’s about facts people, like she is now playing around with she is the stage like to everyone have fun. So you can see the different side. But she is the stage. It is like factual. She has full eye contact with everybody in the audience. And if that’s what you want, representing you, or even giving you information, when you’re looking for, you know, a lawyer to represent you. So I definitely approval was right there. She’s awesome. But today, we’ve been friends for about four years now. It’s crazy. I know. Right? And shout out to turn every Wednesday for introducing us. Definitely two years ago in Upper Marlboro at the golf course. So yeah, shout out to Beverly. In since then. We’ve been rocking since then. Right. Yeah. And so sometimes we have like deep business conversations, which we should, but then other times, we have just fun conversations, which we also should as business owners, because you got to have fun. So right now if you guys see me looking up and down, I’m sharing this to various groups. Because I noticed information is going, it’s gonna move a lot of people, because this is the part about friends, this is the part about growth, this is going to be the part about managing friends, while managing growth, while trying to maintain friendships, maintain strategic business partnerships, having those people in your ecosystem that are necessary, and those that aren’t, but they just been there so long that groups. So Greta, so this is we’re gonna dive into the fun part now. So we were talking, and the topic came up of friends in like how relationships change. Any business owner ain’t really any person, but we’re gonna talk about, we will keep it, you know, streamlined to business owners, for the most part, business owners out there, understand that you change, you change your business, change your priorities, your goals, your mindset, everything changes, as you accumulate more experiences, I’m gonna say it that way. Because you can be really young, with a very vast amount of experiences under your belt, you can be very old with very few. So it’s not necessarily as you get older, it’s really as you collect experiences, because those experiences changing. We have a tendency, and I said, when I say we need people to hang on to relationships, based off familiarity versus usefulness, even if it’s hurting us. And so that would be the explanation for someone’s background. And we talked about creating like a solar system. And before we go into that, so what has been your experience, like managing friendships, and growing a business? Before we go too far?
Salma Benkabbou 6:41
It’s been really tough. I’ll be honest, when you make the shift into entrepreneurship, which I feel like those of us who are genuine entrepreneurs, we’ve always been visionaries in our own right, we’ve just never been put into the ecosystem that has nurtured that and allowed us to be ourselves, right. For the most part, we’re surrounded by people that are kind of limited in a fixed mindset, where they’re not able to expand beyond what they can see. And so a lot of times as a visionary, and as an entrepreneur, you come up with solutions for everyday problems, or you come up with solutions for things that have been done consistently that you find that there’s a different way of doing it, that could be better. And a lot of times, you’re not really welcomed with your ideas, right? People might, you know, think that you’re crazy and may not be feasible, you might be the first person in your family to do it or within your friends to even step into this area. And I think for me, personally, when I locked in, I’m part of my personalities, I’m just a very determined person. So when I make a decision to go after something like that’s basically it, I’m stubborn in that way. And that kind of really eliminated a lot of people from around my circle, because a lot of people just are not as determined as the level of determination that you need in order for you to succeed as an entrepreneur. You know, entrepreneurship is not the sexy thing that you see on Instagram, or social media, or, you know, having your computer on it, you know, on the beach, and you’re just drinking margaritas, eventually, maybe you’ll get there, but to entrepreneurship, as you’re starting, and as you’re scaling, you’re working way more hours, and you would have ever even thought of as an employee. So a lot of times you don’t have the time to cultivate those personal relationships. So for me, you know, the relationships that really weren’t solid didn’t last, um, I still have one friend standing and her and I go back about over 20 years. So she’s been there throughout the entire journey, love her to death, she’s literally a sister of like, almost a sister, you know, she can’t get rid of me even if she tried. But, you know, for us, we’ve been able to grow together, because although she’s climbing the corporate ladder, she understands my journey she shares within, you know, I can share with her my pain, I don’t expect her to understand. But she can see all the steps that I’ve taken in order for us, you know, in order for me to get to this place, but through it all we’ve stayed through and, you know, maintain that friendship, but I can’t say the, you know, the same for everyone else, including some of my family members, you know, not everyone understands. They’re always just like, Oh, it’s you know, it’s family day. And it’s like, yeah, but unfortunately, I have deadlines. And I have to do this. And you know, you’re wearing multiple hats. And unfortunately, sometimes your team members fail, you know, they don’t really show up for you. So then you’re basically having to wear their hat. So it really hasn’t been an easy ride, to say the least. But it’s been probably the best journey that I could ever recommend for anybody, specifically, those who are tethering within that line. You really get to know yourself on a deeper level. It teaches you things that you never would imagine learning your back is against the wall almost every day you’re and as you’re scaling you’re on a roller coaster that’s like up and down throughout the day. And sometimes I have to sit down at the end of the day and write down like okay, what are all the great things that happened and what are all the crazy things that happened, right? Do you journal Do you think journaling
Brent Simpson 9:54
Salma Benkabbou 9:55
I do. Um, so I’m one of those people’s I have like this planner that also allows asked me to journal. And it also allows me to write affirmations. If I don’t start my day with that my day is basically done. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing. But I first start with gratitude, right, I have to remember what I’m grateful for, because that puts me in a frequency of happiness and joy automatically, right? Because remembering what you’re grateful for, and everybody has something to be grateful for. And then I have a space for my affirmations because I have to remind myself, right of the things that, although I may not have them right now, but these are the things that I aspire to, and you have, that’s the only place in my life where, like, it’s okay to fake it until you make it. Right. So I’m really and truly, it kind of is a reminder of the things you need to work on throughout the day. And then I have my to do list, you know, so for me, yeah, I definitely have to have to journal and then at the end of my crazy days, I have to write down like, I made myself like more aware of the good things, because I think sometimes we focus on all the things that went wrong. And I forget, wow, like I, you know, got four clients today, as opposed to just thinking like, wow, like this went to shit, right? And so you just kind of have to like, balance yourself. And really, your perspective really alters your reality. And when I learned that it’s been kind of like a life hack.
Brent Simpson 11:12
Do you think that the people, you said something is very true? They don’t get it? And I always wonder, Do people just not get it? Who are entrepreneurs? Because we aren’t split? Aren’t explaining it to them? Or is it? Like, they just don’t get it? Are they trying to get it? Like, do you feel like your friends are trying to get it? Or are you taking the time to explain it to them?
Salma Benkabbou 11:35
I’ve learned that there’s a difference. Even within the entrepreneurship community, there’s business owners, and and there’s entrepreneurs, right? A business owner or someone that really just purchased the job, let’s just be honest, right? They’re the people that are really afraid of kind of pushing the envelope as an entrepreneur, you don’t care if you have, you know, a safety net or not, you’re jumping, right? You have a vision, you’re going after it, you’re you’re a problem solver, you love challenges, you come up with creative ideas, because you go for them, right? A business owner, as someone who’s just kind of like, alright, well, this is what I do, this is my business. And that shows that they’re not looking to expand, they’re not looking to grow beyond that. They’re not really looking to solve problems. They’re just okay, being a business owner. There’s nothing wrong with that. But their mindset is different. Employees, their mindset is also different. There’s a sense of stability that they can’t get past right. For us. We’re we thrive in not having stability, to be honest with you, right? No matter what level you’re on, you can never get too comfortable. Once you get comfortable, you’re kind of like now in a fixed mindset. And we also have to remind ourselves, okay, like, now it’s time for the next level. And I think we can’t even help it. But I do think it is a difference in the way that we think. And you cannot you cannot change people’s perspective when it as it relates to that. But what you can do is just have an understanding of their level of consciousness as it relates to what they do. So I had to learn, I can’t really rely on my employee friends for feedback on my crazy entrepreneurship ideas, because to them, What do you mean, you’re, you’re already have something that works. Why would you? Why would you mess with that? Yeah, you know what I’m saying? So they can’t understand that because they think I’m crazy already. So when you add a different layer to that now I’m becoming like, I’m probably should be in a sideboard, right? Some of the, you know, reactions I used to get. And I used to start to check myself until I got around other people that were like minded. And then I was like, Oh, my God, this feels like home. And I’m so happy to talk about the summit, because I’ve never felt like so much at home than I did at the summit, because everywhere I looked was a like minded person. And it just felt like, wow, like, this just feels amazing. You know, it was just, it was a euphoric experience. I remember calling my mom and telling her about it. Like, I’m not crazy. Like, there’s other people that are the same, you know,
Brent Simpson 13:55
yeah. And you that distinction between business owners and entrepreneurs is, is very real. Because even looking at myself, there’s times where people are like, well, you’re pretty successful, why are you trying to do something else? Right? And I’m like, why would I not? And for me, I’m sitting here thinking, complacency or just being comfortable would feel uncomfortable for me. And, you know, you kind of you really, I’m glad you touched on that. And that’s what in that space is where we start talking about this whole concept of solar systems. And what we’re talking about is imagine for anybody who’s watching this entrepreneur, if you’re listening to the podcast, and you know, you’re an entrepreneur, and you’re just, you know, Bible with the story, and you’re, you’re vibrating on the same frequency, you can probably relate to this. Oftentimes, we have everybody in the same plant, like everybody in the same space, just because that’s how we grew up, or that’s what we’re used to doing. Or we never thought about doing dance or, or, or for whatever the reason, everybody’s in the same space. And so for us when we’re trying to feel euphoric, or we’re trying to feel like you know, you These are the people that give me everybody’s in the same space. So we can’t get that that organic feeling. Because either we’re going to dim our light, and we do, many entrepreneurs will dim their light. Because they don’t want to seem like they’re bragging. But then there’s this other group of entrepreneurs who, like try to shine a light even brighter, because they don’t want anybody to see through them. And they’re like, you know, I just have to be the biggest voice after mixing like is always sexy. Entrepreneurship is not always sexy. No, no, not at all. But when you when you have all these people in this space, they’re all on one planet. And we started talking about like, how do you separate them? And not feel number one guilty about it? And then also, how do you have it in an organized fashion, because this organization for entrepreneurs doesn’t work, because we’re already scatterbrained with all the ideas that we have popping in and out of our heads, that this organization in anything else, it just as another trigger to make us go, You know what, I don’t have time for it, I need to focus over here. And then the people who get pushed to the side, because not because we’re putting you to side because you’re you we’re putting you decided because we’re trying to protect our brains. But again, if you’re not entrepreneurs, sometimes you really can’t understand that we’re not doing it as a direct insult to you. We’re doing it truly just to protect the way we think, in our peace of mind. And it’s not personal. And so some of us, we started talking about the different planets in our solar systems. So, um, you know, for me, and if you’re watching this, and you’re one of my friends, yes, you probably aren’t one of these planets. You know, just understand, it’s not a bad thing. It just is what it is. So I have like planet high school friends. And then I have like planet college friends. And then I have like, planet, business buddies. Now, this is buddies isn’t the same thing is business ecosystem. similar, but different. Business buddies are like light, you know, haha, conversational. I may not tell you all my killer ideas, or share every single resource, I’m gonna share some, I’m open, we’re gonna have fun talking about business. But when I go to my inner circle, my business inner circle planet, that’s where we’re really diving in feels like a mastermind, when I go over there, and we don’t hold back. And so like seminar, we oftentimes have conversation, where she’s giving me information about, you know, IP law, and things I didn’t know, or, you know, law in general, because I didn’t know she’s like, let me share this with you. You know, you should boom, boom, boom. But when I get on, I’m like, Hey, I just, I’ve just finished a research, here’s everything I have. And I’m gonna pay 250 an hour for that information or whatever. But I’m not gonna hold back for her. And I have some people on that planet, right. And we don’t hold back. But how do you put them on a planet? This is a question for yourself. How do you put number one? How do you name your planets? Let me ask you that first.
Salma Benkabbou 17:53
So that conversation was life changing for me, I want you to know that so and Brian is not really given the full backstory. So I remember we got into the conversation because I was struggling, right? Because I was a person that didn’t think that you put people on plants, right? I always assumed that you’re either compatible, or you’re not right. And then I realized I was like, Well, I’m just going to be on one planet. Because this is not gonna work, right? Because this is not not everyone can be on the same frequency all the time. So then he was the one that expanded on on that and opened up my mind to this idea of having people on separate planets, and then just being okay with that. So they don’t necessarily have to love everything that you love, or can engage in the same conversations as you. But once you identify the strengths, and where they energize you, then place them there, and it’s okay to leave them on that planet, they don’t have to come with you to the other planets, right? They may not be, you know, ready for that. And I think the analogy that you use, they might say, you know, once you land there might be like, Oh, it’s hot in here, or it’s too cold. For me, I don’t think I want to be here. And I thought it was just so profound, because it really allowed me to just expand on my idea of relationships. And in my own, like, close minded way, I assumed that a relationship is contingent on being compatible in every which way. But that’s not realistic. It just isn’t. So when he when he said that, to me, I was actually like, on the like, almost, I’m on my way to a solo trip where I actually needed to take the time out for myself, and really just kind of reassess my life and where I’m going next. And so that was one of the things that I really had to sit down. And I was like, Man, I really have to think about these planets. So what I’ve learned is, I started to look for people that energize me in different spaces. Right. So wherever I felt energized after a conversation, that was the plan. So if you advise me based on the feedback that you gave me about my business, now you’re on the planet where I can come to you for a mastermind.
Brent Simpson 19:51
Oh, you know, some let me jump in real quick because that’s awesome. So we’re talking about Planet energize, right. So if you have a planet energize it We become space travelers in our own solar system. That’s who we are, we are the space travelers, because we’re our heads always in the stars. And, you know, that’s who we are as entrepreneurs, especially a certain type of entrepreneur. But when you have a planet energized, and you’re running out of fuel, you know exactly where to go. If you land on the planet in general, you’re energized. And that, that’s, that’s awesome. Actually, yeah, write that down. But the reason why it’s awesome, is because when we’re when everybody’s on the same planet, it’s the reason why they really shouldn’t be, if everybody’s on the same planet, and you land because you need to get energized, you now have to figure out where to go. So now, it’s not like you just start out the planet knew what was gonna happen when you land it. No, you have to go land. And now search. So you’re already running low on energy, and you’re searching, so you’re frustrated, you don’t know where to go. So you’re lost, because you just didn’t put the right people in the right plant. Planet energized, I’m writing that down, I might get a t shirt.
Salma Benkabbou 21:03
So or, I think, honestly, the best thing that I’ve learned is energy, right? And how that affects you. There’s a lot of, a lot of times you have conversations with people, and it drains you. Or sometimes you might even get around certain people like I can get around person, they may not even say one word, I’m already drained, right? Like, I really believe in energy and frequency, like, you know, if you’re tuned in, and if you’re able to even open up to that person. Me personally, I’m an extroverted introvert. So I have to actually feel your energy to be able to allow myself to kind of be myself around you. Otherwise, I’m just guarded, right, you’re not really going to get the full picture of me. But if I feel comfortable, because we’re on the same frequency, then I’m able to just kind of like, let my hair down, have a conversation, which is why you and I have always been able to have real conversations, and we always walk away. At least I always walk away feeling energized and educated. I learned something from you. There’s not one conversation that we have, where I don’t learn something from you. Right? And we can like go two months without talking. And then we get on a phone call, and then boom, I got some great, it’s kind of crazy how that works. But it’s because we’re able to have that synergy. And we can kind of think the same and no matter what idea you throw at me. I’m not scared by it. And I’m not like, Oh, that’s not gonna work. It’s like, man, that’s so dope, like, how are you going to do it? And I’m always engaged and interested because to me, it allows me to think outside of the box and allows me to kind of like, expand my mindset, right? I live for those conversations. I don’t have those conversations every day. I wish I did. But I’m not surrounded by people like that every day, unfortunately. Well,
Brent Simpson 22:36
you talk about good energy. So everybody was she’s talking about good energy. Let me tell you all, I’m missing say this word wrong. synchronicity. Synchronicity, I said, Okay, yes. So, synchronicity is was personified today. So we were supposed to do this conversation about two weeks ago, but things just got crazy busy. Um, I was trying to buy some land. And it just got involved. And so without talking without having a conversation, until yesterday, I think we decided to do a conversation that would be alive on Facebook and you know, recorded for the boat vision podcast, live now today. And when I woke up, I received a Facebook memory link. Apparently, we went live, which was only live, like in that space three years ago on this day. And I’m like, I don’t know what the universe has planned, or how this is supposed to play on in. But we did a live three years ago. Today. Just because back then to was it I don’t think we had a real reason. We just we were talking about IP law. But the reason why we decided to do it was kind of random. So synchronicity is, yeah, you’re like, yes,
Salma Benkabbou 23:53
no, for sure. And I think sometimes we’re not aware of that. Because a lot of times we don’t really know ourselves. But if you’re able to feel how, like, just be mindful of how you feel around people, right. So just kind of, you’ll be able to see like, when you go home and you’re tired after a conversation or being around somebody, they’re probably not on the same frequency as you. But if you walk away and you feel energized, that means that person is your person, right? You need to have that person in your life to some capacity in whatever capacity that they’re able to kind of leave you feeling energized and happy and excited. Because then you get to feel like wow, like I belong, right? As humans, we always need to feel like we belong, and able to challenge you in a way that motivates you. It’s not a challenge in a way that defeats you or that might make you feel like man, maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was or maybe I am crazy for coming up with this idea. Or maybe I’m crazy for wanting to leave my job and starting this little business is what most people will say like, Oh, I see you’re starting your little business, right? But you can’t really rely on those people to really kind of gave you that energy that you need to, like, propelled you. But to be honest with you, entrepreneurs don’t really need somebody to push them. We’re gonna jump because we’re just crazy like that, right? And we don’t have, honestly, when I jumped, I didn’t have a parachute. I was like, Well, shit if I failed, and so what I get back up, right? And that was kind of crazy, in a sense, really, if you think about it. Now, looking back, I’m like, What the hell was I thinking? But I’m so glad I was not thinking, right? I didn’t allow my negative thoughts to, you know, kind of derail me, right? Because now I can’t imagine my life any other way. And you really need to have that, that source of energy, whenever you’re starting to doubt yourself, or whenever you’re having an issue. And I know that when you when I always talk, it’s always I think about the things that have been bothering me, right, and that I have just been kind of disregarding or not been able to say out loud. And then I’m comfortable enough to say to you, because you, you get it and then you give me a solution, right? You’re just like, well, I want them on planets. And I’m like, I literally ate that up. And I’m like, wow, like, if I put people on the planet, then I’m not just going to be on a planet by myself, because I’m not trying to bring everybody with me. And I think what you said was someone, if you try to bring everyone with you, it’s gonna be too heavy, you can’t carry everybody with you. It’s not going to be a fun ride, you’re not going to be able to enjoy life, because everybody just can’t come with you everywhere. Right? And that was really, that really changed things for me. So I’m so grateful for that conversation for sure.
Brent Simpson 26:27
No, it’s important. And you know, you talk about the energy that people give, and also the energy that people take. And when I’m talking to clients, I tell them all the time, if you get off the phone with somebody, and you feel like I want to go work, or I want to go try that thing they talked about or if you just feel energized, for whatever reason, you need to put them on some type of rotation. And you know, if also to the contrary, if you’re talking to somebody, and when you’re done, you’re like, if I never speak to them again, I’m great. And then the phone rings, you’re like, oh, gosh, like if the phone rings, and your first thing is like you look around to see who else knows the diploma. You know, everybody knows that person, like you’re in the middle of Starbucks, and the phone rings and you look at you go, and then you look around, because you’re thinking, Who else has seen what happened isn’t a fit in your body and your soul, you feel like there’s an offensive person even call it and you feel more like it’s an offense because you’re about to answer it. And we and then that creates guilt, it creates doubt, it creates all these micro emotions that we don’t even know happen. And then it causes us to doubt like cut decisions that we normally make easily. Because we made a bad decision and know it like even if it’s in the back of our mind our subconscious. We know we should answer that phone. So now we’re about to close this deal a little bit of doubt creeps in. And so for somebody like that, What planet do you put them on?
Salma Benkabbou 27:49
They’re not on my solar system anymore. I just, I’ve learned that life is short, right? And you should be allowed as an adult to make a decision about who you allow in your solar system. If I’m going to go through this life and travel the world with you, right, like, or the galaxy with you. And I feel like you’re not really bringing something to the table that adds to me and an alternative, like what am I really adding to you if I always feel negative, right? So I’m doing you a favor, just in the same way that I’m doing myself a favor, by making sure that we just don’t cross paths, like you go to your solar system, and I’ll stay over here. But if you ever come to the same frequency as me, and we’re able to link up, then by all means, let’s link up but as long as you’re in a different space than me, right or a different galaxy. I’m just not interested. And I think I’ve gotten to that age where it’s kind of that dangerous. Like, I really don’t care what you think, like, I’m sorry, but I’m just not going to allow you to just come into my space because you’re right, we don’t have the capacity to deal. I know personally, the moment I started to see certain things. I’m like, Oh no, this is negative. I can’t like I’m sorry, but I just I don’t have the space for it. And I don’t apologize for it because it’s a part of self love. And I have to you know, honor myself in my truth and live in my truth. If I’m going to really say I’m authentic. I think a lot of times people think I used to allow people to make me feel bad for having that knee jerk reaction to certain people that have low vibrations or a different vibration than me. And I would just say like, I don’t know why this person just irks my spirit. But they IRQ it right. And I used to have to justify that because what what can you really say because you start to sound crazy. And then people would make you feel bad like oh, well, why don’t you give them a chance. And it’s like, at this age now. Now, I don’t want to I’m cool. Like, every time I felt that energy it’s never ended up good. So I’m okay with not engaging anymore and that’s okay.
Brent Simpson 29:44
Oh, yeah, I’ve been called all kinds of names. So I’ve been called stuck up. I’ve been called a jerk.
Salma Benkabbou 29:51
I get mean,
Brent Simpson 29:52
yeah, I get no at all. I mean, but the thing is, people that know me know my brain always moves towards solutions. reason why my brain always move source solutions is because I want to help people have a better life is not to be a no at all. It’s really, so we can just have a good existence. And so when a friend calls me and says, you know, something’s going on, I’m immediate, like, we can’t get off the phone, unless we’re at least headed into somewhere better. It could just be laughing, like we got on the phone laughing, that’s a win. But we can’t get off the phone the same way we started on the phone. And there are those friends. And I put it, I have a call a planet called complainer’s in it, but you know, they’re not bad people like do not do that. They just complain, like, that’s just, that’s just who they are. Like, it can be sunny. And we’re like 100 feet away from the beach. And they can say, well, that’s 100 foot wall. I’m like, What was 100 feet? They’re like, I mean, why can’t we be 20 feet away? Why can’t we just our feet be in the water right now. I’m like, you know, anything we have to do is get up and walk right there. And for whatever reason, they just want to look at just the whole, the glass is half empty, glass half glass half full. And I’m gonna tell anybody who’s listening to this. If somebody picks up a cup in front of you, and drinks all the water, or whatever’s in your cup in front of you and puts it back down, it’s still full. It’s just full of air. But when you look at it, that’s the way I see it. And then other people like what they drink it all. So it’s gone. I’m like, No, it’s just filled with something different. And so it doesn’t have to stay goes back to relationships. Relationships don’t have to start or end the same way. So when you have those family members who have watched you grow, and sometimes they don’t get it, right, sometimes you have a family who, originally they were like, Look, you need to go get a good government job, stop playing around. And do you know somebody? What’s your skill set how much you can make in a good job? But what do you do with those people with that, now that you’re here, and they kind of they, you know, they have a feeling like, Okay, I can’t deny that she’s far along from where she started. But I don’t want to admit that I was, you know, quote, unquote, wrong. How do you do that?
Salma Benkabbou 2:04
It’s kind of funny, because I dealt with that within my family, right. Um, and for me, personally, I realize that people only see you within the depth that they see themselves. So a lot of times, they’ll put the limitations that they have on their selves on you. Right. So when I learned that, I learned compassion, and I stopped taking things personally. And it took me a long time to get there. Like, I’m not gonna lie, because I used to take it personal like, dang, like, What do you mean? Because I remember one of my brothers used to always say, like, Oh, you’re still a startup? And I’m like, No, I’m actually not. I’m still startup, you know, but in his mind, that’s how he seen it. He didn’t really like he didn’t see what I had to, you know, put in and he doesn’t see the growth. And he now he’s, he admits it. And now he’s calling me asking for business ideas, and so forth. But it used to hurt my feelings. I used to be like, wow, like, is that what he thinks? Like this? We have see what I’ve been doing? Like, I’ve been crushing it, you know, but I had to learn that it’s not personal. Like, I really had to learn that because you’re laughing. I mean, that’s because, but like, I had to learn that he really just saw me from his lens, right. And that’s altered because again, your, your perceptions on life and on other people is really your reality. And when I learned that, I realized, okay, he doesn’t really mean it. Personally. He’s seeing it from his lens. And then I started to feel sorry for people because I’m like, wow, like, your lens is like, really small. And that’s okay. You know, like, and from that point, I started to just let them know, like, Hey, your idea of what I went through or where I am, is not actual reality, you’re actually looking at it from your lens. Nine out of 10 times are not able to receive that. So don’t use that all the time, right? Because people don’t like to take accountability or have that mirror be put up to their face. But for me and my family, like we were always been honest with one another, this something that my mom instilled in all of us. So we have those uncomfortable conversations. And recently, he did admit that he didn’t believe that I could achieve what I have. So that was an honest conversation. And for me, it was enough that he admitted that and that he asked me for, right and he’s 10 years older than me, so that was enough for me to be like, Okay, it’s cool. Yeah, it was, um, I think for me, mines was my mother. And we’re actually going to do an interview. She agreed, which I was shocked. She agreed to the interviewer.
Brent Simpson 4:32
Over You know, we came from a challenge.
Brent Simpson 4:37
Beginning, I say that, you know, it wasn’t no silver spoons at all. And about two weeks ago, I was able to tell her that from her, finally believing in me and that I can do what I was, you know, my my, my training allowed me to master I made her a millionaire. And, you know, it was really cool to make that phone call. Hey, Mom.
Brent Simpson 5:00
I just checked, you’re officially a millionaire, and know that I had a huge impact on that happening. And so it took eight years,
Brent Simpson 5:12
eight years of me like hounding her, like, let me help you with your money. Let me help you. Let me help you with your buddy. Let me help you with your mind. Let me help you.
Brent Simpson 5:25
It was like eight years of rejection, because she couldn’t see me as anything but her son, who was challenged in school, like I was that kid, and who pretty much had a questionable 5050 chance of making it like to certain ages. And it is it’s complete one
Brent Simpson 5:45
was 180. And so
Brent Simpson 5:49
it’s 181. Other way, right? 360s you’re back where you started? Yeah. So it was like, I didn’t realize we had to have the talk. We had to talk last week. And she was like, you know, Brett, I really always saw you is that kid? Who I just worried about? And I was like, wow, I couldn’t be mad at him. And you know, it’s it was our truth. There was an uncomfortable conversation. And so I moved her from Planet nonbeliever to now she’s on Planet believer, but she changed planets. And I thought I’d give it I thought she just do planet nonbeliever forever. And it was cool to see that people can change planets. And that’s something you should know, when you’re thinking, Oh, I’m thinking about, you know, what plans do I have? Do I have planted vacation buddies? Or do I have planted turnip crew or you know, whatever it is, I promise you, you cannot stay with on Planet Turner crew for so long.
Brent Simpson 6:45
And you got to go. Yep, it will burn is for me. And being an entrepreneur, if I’m away from entrepreneurship too long, I feel imbalanced.
Brent Simpson 6:57
Like, just completely unbalanced. Yes.
Brent Simpson 7:01
You’ve got to say something about the Turner.
Salma Benkabbou 7:04
I’m so glad you said that.
Salma Benkabbou 7:08
No, cuz, um, I totally get that. And I wish I had this knowledge back when I was a little bit younger, because then I would have still had my turnip crew, right. But what as I started to shift and grow into like being, you know, lasered in and just kind of focused, I lost my turn of cute crew, right. And now that I’m stable, and I’m able to go out and do certain things, I’m like, Well, I’m just here on this planet by myself kind of thing, which is fine. It’s not a big deal. But I wish I would have known that back then. Because for me, it was like, all you guys want to do is turn up, like I’m growing up, like I’m trying to do things differently. And I’m laser, Dan, but I didn’t understand that I could just leave them on that planet and come back years later, right. So now I wish I knew that information, then because I think maybe it would have been a little bit different. But then I wouldn’t be able to experience the things that I’m experiencing now, which is on, you know, traveling by yourself has been probably the best experience I could ever, ever recommend to anybody. Honestly, truly, it was something that changed my perspective on things. And it allowed me to check in with myself. A lot of times as an entrepreneur, you’re pulled in a million different directions every day, you rarely have time to yourself. So when you really take the time to say, you know, like, Hey, girl, how you doing? You know, like, is everything okay? Where are you trying to go? Is this the direction that you’re trying to grow into? Or is this something that you’re just feeling like you’re just kind of rolling with, you know, rolling with the motion type of thing. And it was really an amazing experience. I recommend that everybody does that at least once a year. I’m now going to do that if not once a year, twice a year because I don’t care if I’m doesn’t matter who I’m around. It doesn’t matter. I’m taking that time for myself, because it was probably the best thing I could have ever done. What was your last trip?
Salma Benkabbou 8:55
I went to Arizona and I went to this resort.
Salma Benkabbou 9:00
I went hiking at 6am I went to Sedona I wrote a helicopter. I went to like, um, you know what, why? Boring? Like I did so much. I was just by myself like I gave. Can I curse? Okay, okay.
Salma Benkabbou 9:15
It’s about what was going on. I did book male on like a female that actually took me to Sedona from my resort. And so that was safety purposes. Right. And it was a great conversation. She was an entrepreneur on the brink of like, basically breaking and having that conversation with her. We charged her and she cried on our way there because I was able to give her that tidbit of Hey, girl, I understand that this is where you’re starting, but why don’t you focus on women who are traveling by themselves. This is a great avenue for you. And it was one of the best conversations that I’ve ever had my Uber ride from the airport to my resort The woman cried too because she was starting her business and leaving a marriage with somebody that was dragging her and like you know, kind of holding her back and I was able to pour into
Salma Benkabbou 10:00
To her, and for me, those things fulfill me. And it was just crazy how that happened. And I was so proud of her because she was starting a hair store for children, like an online hair store for kids. And I thought it was such a dope idea. And she felt like everyone looked at her like she was crazy. And I was able to just kind of like, reassure her that she was going to be okay. And so for me those experiences, I’m like, wow, I should really do this more often, you know, like, really just start taking trips, because you never know who might need you. Right. So for me, it was a great experience, for sure. You know, Eric, from the summit, I met him in the Uber ride on a way to Philly. That’s crazy. So I met I met him in Uber, which I never did Uber. So I’m like, the 44 year old guy. I order Uber pool. And, or Uber Express. Uber comfort. I don’t know, it was one of those. And when it came, this guy was in the car. I’m like, What are you doing Uber? And the drivers like, oh, well, you ordered the Uber. Comfort or something? And I’m like, Yeah, I thought it was for me to be comfortable. Like, what, like, what is this?
Brent Simpson 11:10
She’s like, well, we get people. It’s a it’s a group ride. And I was like, Man, that’s not what I signed up for. I was like, so how do we work this out? And so she was like, Well, I was like, Cool this guy. So I get it. I’m like, Who are you talking about? So what do you do? And so we’re running down the list. And we ended up doing a Facebook Live from the Uber, because he had just told me that he did a movie on Amazon Prime. That was he was part of the the crew for the meat Mills series, or meat Mills movie series. By the way, it’s great. Everybody watch it. So he was on it. Like he was part of it. And so I was like, Oh, wow, I was like, Look, you know, what are you doing that and he told me and he told me what he endeavored to do. I said, Look, if I ever have an opportunity for you, I’m gonna be and he kind of had this like, okay, night before. And so when the sun came up, I made that phone call. And he was the lead for the BB Summit. And so those overrides me a lot. But then to going back to what you said, you’re able to point those people you were able to pour into them, because you were having a conversation with your travel buddy, you were able to pour into him because you weren’t talking to your booboo about what was gonna happen later on. You were able to talk to him because you were present. And you were uninhibited. And you had the choice to what that environment look like, because you were by yourself. Yeah, and I think that’s something that’s couldn’t happen. When you’re with the turnip crew, you would have just got in, move over move you over it and you all would start focusing on each other, the energy would have been different, it wouldn’t have been an open energy would have been a recycling energy. Like we’re recycling the same energy that we started with. And so no, it’s so I traveled by myself and my friends have gave me the time the the name, socially anti social. So even when I do travel with my turnip crew, I’m normally like, here, but I’m in the corner. Or I’m like on the plane, but I’m not in the same roses. And I Yeah, so I totally get it. I I agree. And you said, you know, you’re busy scaling up, not turning up. And I was like, Yo, write that down, you’ll see them t shirt.
Brent Simpson 13:25
I was like, oh, man, that’s good. It was it was some some of the tech. But you know, when you’re when you realize these people aren’t
Brent Simpson 13:35
necessarily designed to be in your particular on your particular planet, at this particular moment in time? Do you tell them? Or do you just place them there and kind of keep them moving?
Salma Benkabbou 13:48
I think you don’t really have a choice, right? It really is contingent upon what your priorities are. I think the turnip crew for the most part, they’ll leave you behind, right? So once they start to feel like okay, this person is not really coming out there. They stop inviting you. And you have to be okay with that. Because you’re on a mission. And if you’re truly like lasered in and determined, it won’t matter, right, it’s not going to be a big deal. But if you’re close enough with these people, then just have a real honest conversation and just say, Look, I understand that this is what you guys are doing. But right now, this is not my priority. I’ll check in whenever I feel like I can write but this isn’t going to be something that I do on a consistent basis. That way you’re able to still maintain those relationships if you still want them. I still have a couple of people that I hit up every now and then but I have to fly out to go and have that fun which honestly for me it I don’t mind it because I don’t really like to turn up where I work, right? So for me it’s it’s fun for me to like, you know, go to a different city and just enjoy myself and that’s okay. And now it’s become something where it’s like alright, now I can go back to resuming normal life. Now, I can see that, you know, it’s this thing about really people in
Brent Simpson 15:00
Professional sports happened a lot. And it’s like a success, guilt. But more and more as I meet entrepreneurs, I’m I’m realizing it’s very real, especially for those who are on the precipice for already successful. And, you know, it’s so many people around you that they wanted to start a business, or so many people need your professional skill set, but they can’t afford to pay for it, or so many people who didn’t believe in you. But now they need you. So they’re calling on you to give them what they think they think they need. So they can hopefully get where you are, but they still can’t pay. And they, they feel like it’s your job or your duty to perform.
Brent Simpson 15:43
And when you don’t, it seems like the relationship is now judged on that one moment in time, where you couldn’t show up for them the way they expected you to. And now you’re trying to figure out, okay, What planet do I put you on? Or do I take your solar system? Because also, what I found is, sometimes people just aren’t enlightened in that moment. And they they don’t know they’re being self centered or selfish. But they don’t mean to be, if that makes sense. So how did you How do you deal with that?
Salma Benkabbou 16:14
Um, interesting enough, so I have a rule of thumb, it’s okay for you to have a moment and for me walk out of your life. But when you want to come back into my life, I don’t allow you to do that until you acknowledge what actually happened, right? Because then that shows growth, if you’re unable to do that, because there’s some people that come back into your life as if nothing happened. No, I remember everything, you can’t just walk up in here and think that everything was cool. Now, you have to be an adult and actually acknowledge what happened, we can have a conversation as adults, and we can move on from that, because I’m a forgiving person. But I will not move on from that and push it under the rug. If you don’t have the adult tools to have that real and honest conversation. I’m just not one of those people. And I learned that most people are like that, they just push things under the rug because it’s comfortable. I’m not comfortable with that. Like, I will always feel like wait, like you tried me like, No, we there’s still some unresolved things in here that I’m not okay with, like, how do I know that you’re not going to do the same thing again. So I’ve had people that tried to come into my life as if like, nothing happened. And I’m like, No, something happened, goodbye. Um, but if you come back into my life, and you’re like, Listen, this is what I was going through. Like, I had a colleague who was going through a divorce, and she kind of got out of character, no problem, I just kind of was like, All right, like, we’re going to leave that negative energy over there. But when she did try to come back, it was on a humility kind of conversation, right? Like, hey, I realize I was wrong, I shouldn’t have done that. And I welcomed her with open arms. And I understood, but when you come back with an ego, not interested, you can stay over there.
Brent Simpson 17:51
So I totally get it. And I won’t even go into my story. But no, I mean, really, the the goal of today, for people who are listening is to understand that, you know, whether it be attorney, sound banker, boo, the millennial business attorney, or lawyer, or myself, press Simpson, we all go through it. And we go through it in a way that is human as anybody else. And we’re trying to figure out solutions to managing this thing we call our, our personal ecosystems and professional ecosystem. Because the reality is, when you’re entrepreneur, they’re the same. And we can try to separate people we can try to, you know, isolate and segments, like, it’s my business friends, this is my regular friends. No, you can’t do it. The same way people say, I’m just gonna shake it off, because I’m about to go into the office, you go shake what off because you’re about to go into the office, like you can adjust, you can just decide, like, this is what I’m going to do when I get to work. But it’s not as if you’re not fighting that internal battle the whole time you’re at work. So you know, just understanding like, our ecosystems are very real, they’re precious. And you don’t have to be subject to every single thing that other people bring to you. You put them on the planet, and go be you know, a space traveler, and visit that planet every now and then touchdown, you know what you’re getting into. So before you leave the other planet, prepare, where are you going next, map it out, and know where I’m going? What equipment do I need, when your equipment might be the proper attitude? financially because you know, you’re going to, you’re going to plan it beggars.
Brent Simpson 19:29
Wherever you land, you got low Shakedown money.
Brent Simpson 19:34
If you’re if you’re going to Planet calm, then you shouldn’t bring your biggest speakers and your loudest music. You’re about to go to Planet calm, you’re doing yoga, that’s where you do yoga, like leave all the other stuff on the other planet. Just understand when you are space traveling, you put people on these planets. It’s not that you don’t revisit your own your own planets in your solar system. It’s just there’s a time and a place.
Brent Simpson 19:56
And no and I say this I go back to that planet. Energize
Brent Simpson 20:00
If you know what planet that is, then you have the right people on that planet. Anytime you’re getting low on fuel, that’s where you want to go.
Brent Simpson 20:07
And you don’t want to pollute that planet. And you don’t want to exhaust the resources of that planet. And what I mean by that is, you don’t want to go there just because you’re low. Maybe you want to go there and check to see if everybody there is energized. Maybe, maybe you’re the catalyst to bring them all together or to re energize them because they’re running low. So don’t feel like we land on that planet. Oh, it’s low energy today, I’m gone. No, you owe them. You. It is your responsibility to put a charge into that planet, the same way that planet continues to put in charge and you. So you know, all these places. And just because you’re, you know, a certain planet where it maybe they’re not.
Brent Simpson 20:46
They’re not where you feel like they should be. And that happens sometimes, you know, we just we just see something that people do, they maybe haven’t seen yet. Don’t abandon them.
Brent Simpson 20:56
Don’t say you know what, that’s that’s planet low potential. So it’s always going to be playing at low potential, some planets in our solar system get upgraded, and downgraded to dwarf planets all the time.
Brent Simpson 21:07
And that’s because the size changes, the gravitational pull changes, the numbers of moons change, their satellites change, whatever it is, their reasons why planets get different
Brent Simpson 21:18
statuses based off of when they are research, say, for your own solar system. So, you know, some, what would you say, in regards to being able to manage the people in your ecosystem is been most helpful about that process.
Salma Benkabbou 21:39
Knowing myself, and knowing my, my levels of energies, and knowing who I am as a person, right, that allows me to understand who I can have synergy with and who I cannot, and being okay with whatever comes with that.
Salma Benkabbou 21:59
Salma Benkabbou 22:02
one of my greatest things, and I’m, no matter the consequences, I pride myself on God, because for me, I would rather have peace with myself, than try to have peace with others, and I’m not at peace. Honestly, I don’t even know how to do that. Even if I tried, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. So you’re gonna know how I feel about you no matter what. And I think a lot of times I walked through life, and I see this, so many people don’t know who they are. And they end up just pointing the finger at other people, because it’s easy to do that. But I challenge I want to challenge people to just look within before you look outside, and check yourself first and figure out is this a trigger that you need to you know, process and really figure out if this is something that you need to work on personally? Or is this really someone coming after you? Once you’re able to discern the differences, then it’s easy for you to put people on planets? Because you’re like, Yeah, this person is not, you know, we don’t have great synergy because of XY and Z. The greatest thing that I can do for myself is for me personally, once I know that this is not a good, you know, this is not a good relationship in any capacity. It’s okay to walk away and I stopped feeling guilty for that, because people will make you feel guilty for that. I don’t feel guilty anymore, because I feel like I’m doing you a favor as much as I’m doing myself a favor. So you’re welcome.
Brent Simpson 23:24
And on that note, that’s the Mic drop. So I used to listen to Attorney sama bin Kabu from the big blue law firm, and she is millennial business lawyer. If you are looking for her, you can find her on IG where they find you.
Brent Simpson 23:41
Millennial biz lawyer spelled correctly, but bi z in the middle. And then you can find me on Facebook as a millennial business lawyer, you can find my law firm is the Bank of New Law Firm, either on Facebook or on Instagram, or you can find us on our website. Thank you law firm. Yep. And if you’re thinking, Okay, I want to contact her What are finding the information if you’re on the bull vision podcast, you can go to the section or this actual interview this conversation, and you’ll find our information tethered to the rest of the content from today. And if you’re on Facebook, the link to law firm is actually in the title. So we thank you all for being with us. We hope you continue to visit the bow vision podcast. We hope we brought you some great information. I feel pretty confident that we did. And you will absolutely see attorney bankable again, because we have so many things to talk about, especially in this particular environment for the United States. So we have touched on some real issues. But for today, we just want to have some fun talking about the solar system and how to manage ecosystem. We look forward to seeing you again. Have a great day everybody.
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